


i consider this is perfect love, but god's above, what do I even know about it?

by makelien



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makelien/pseuds/makelien
Summary: a treatise on longing, patience, and how to love despite everything by karl jacobs
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	i consider this is perfect love, but god's above, what do I even know about it?

Karl woke up to muffled sobs coming from the room next to his. Sapnap was his only flatmate, but he doubted it was him that was crying. He got up from under the covers and made his way into the hallway. The small boy stumbled a bit since his eyes had yet to adjust to the darkness. 

Karl lightly knocked on Sapnap's door.

Instead of a response, he heard faint sniffling and heavy breathing.

"Sapnap? Are you okay?" Karl's voice sounded concerned, and he had every right to be. Sapnap never let someone hear him cry, ever. Not once in their ten-year friendship had Sapnap cried in front of Karl. It worried him. He heard more sniffling coming from the other side of the door. "Hey, Sap, it's okay. I'm right here. Open up, please." Karl spoke softly. He heard shuffling and the click of a lock, and just like that, Sapnap was right there in front of him, cheeks wet and eyes puffy. 

Karl walked up and wrapped his arms around Sapnap's waist. He held him tightly. Sapnap brought his arms around Karl's shoulders, holding him just as tight. Soon, Sapnap's shoulders began to shake, and sobs wracked his body as tears spilled from his eyes. He was a quiet crier. Karl didn't know what to do, so he just held him. Somehow, they ended up on the floor with Sapnap against the bed and Karl in his lap. They stayed there and cried until their eyes went dry, and they became weary. Sapnap's breathing was now slow and steady, and with Karl in his lap, he was as calm as he had ever been. 

Karl fell asleep minutes later, but Sapnap couldn't sleep with Karl right there. He kept thinking about the small boy in his arms and how peaceful he looked as he dreamt. He smiled to himself and let out a sigh, for he was getting tired. 

He picked Karl up from his lap and set him down gently on the bed, careful not to wake him as he pulled the covers over his shoulders. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, grabbed a blanket and a pillow, and laid on the couch in the living room, falling into a deep slumber as soon as his head hit the pillow.

-

Karl sighed as the hot water from the showerhead hit his back. He remembered last night how Sapnap cried in his arms, how his eyes were puffy and cheeks were wet from the tears as he opened the door. His heart broke at the memory of it. He hadn't known what was wrong, he just knew that the normally happy and bright Sapnap was so devoid of emotions other than sadness. 

When he woke up, he was in Sapnap's bed. He frowned at the fact that Sapnap wasn't with him; but he didn't know why that upset him. He slowly got up and made his way to find the boy who the room belonged to. Karl smiled as he found him on the couch, hugging his pillow as his shallow breaths made his chest rise and fall ever so slightly. 

Once Karl was out of the shower, smelling like fresh lemons on a hot summer day, he went to make coffee for himself and his flatmate. He scooped the coffee grounds into the filter and let the machine do its work, leaving to make the bed in which he slept. 

Some minutes later, when the coffee was ready, Karl grabbed the pink mug, which was Sapnap's favourite, and the orange mug, which was Karl's favourite, and made both of their coffees with two teaspoons of sugar and a splash of milk. 

With the two mugs in his hands, Karl walked over to the couch and set them on the coffee table, glancing at a still sleeping Sapnap. He chuckled to himself, knowing that he's going to have to wake him up before his coffee gets cold.

He reached over to brush away some hair that had fallen on Sapnap's eyes. He was pleasantly surprised at how soft his hair was. Karl was too focused on running his fingers through his hair to realize that Sapnap's eyes had opened. 

"Ah, shit!" Karl jumped back, almost knocking over the two mugs on the coffee table.

Sapnap burst into giggles, "Hi!" he said after he caught his breath. Karl's face was red from embarrassment. 

"Goddamnit Sap! Give me a warning next time!" he said, trying to laugh off what had just happened. Sapnap shrugged and reached for the mug on the coffee table. 

They sat in comfortable silence as they drank their coffee, Karl sneaking glances at Sapnap, and Sapnap being oblivious.

It wasn't until he looked over that Karl knew that he wanted to talk. Karl figured that he'd want to talk about the night before, so it surprised him when Sapnap asked why the orange mug was his favourite. 

Karl had to think about the answer to that question. "I like it because it reminds me of the sun." He wanted to tell him that the reason why the orange mug was his favourite wasn't because it reminded him of the sun, but because it reminded him of Sapnap and the warmth that surrounded him whenever he was around people. He wanted to tell him that it reminded him of the way he smelled, not of oranges, but of wood and expensive cologne. He wanted to tell him that it reminded him of autumn, when Sapnap would bring him hot chocolate and they'd go pumpkin picking. But mostly, it reminded him of how Sapnap made him feel, warm, cozy, and safe. But he couldn't tell him these things. Instead he stupidly repeated himself, "because of the sun."

\- 

Karl looked himself over in the mirror. He wore a large baby blue sweater with khaki shorts and AF1s, which he thought was casual enough for Dream and George's party. Before walking out of his room, he messed his hair up a little bit, trying to tame it, to no avail. He heard faint talking coming from Sapnap's room. Karl eventually gave up on his hair and knocked on Sapnap's door to get his attention. 

"Come in." Sapnap was standing there, trying to flip his collar over his crewneck, but struggling. Karl laughed at the sight, and made his way over to where he was standing to help him. He noticed that Sapnap was on a call with George, who was being silent. 

"Here, you nimrod. Next time ask for help." Karl put his arms around Sapnap's neck to flip his collar down, but wobbled a bit. He felt a pair of hands hold his waist to stabilize him. Karl looked up and met eyes with Sapnap, who just smiled sheepishly. He rolled his eyes dramatically and took his hands off of Sapnap's shoulders. Sapnap didn't move his hands. 

"Sap, we gotta go or we'll be late. Hurry and finish getting ready, please." Karl exited the room. Sapnap had to take a deep breath, questioning himself as to why he had to grab Karl's waist. Karl was a touchy person, so hopefully he didn't get the wrong message. Just bros helping bros, right?

As Karl drove to Dream's house, he couldn't help but notice the pair of eyes whose gaze was burning right into the side of his head. Without moving, Karl spoke.

"Sap, why are you looking at me like that?" Karl was quiet when he asked this, trying not to embarrass Sapnap.

"You just-you've got... a little... something... in your hair. It's bothering me."

"If its bothering you, you can take it out, I'm driving so it's best for me not to be distracted. You know I don't mind."

Sapnap took these words as permission to gently take out whatever was in Karl's hair. "What is it?" Karl asked, eyes not moving from the road.

"Just fuzz, from your sweater I think."

The rest of the car ride was strangely quiet, neither boys knowing what to say. Once they arrived at their destination, Karl began to feel nervous. He'd only been to a few parties back in high school, but none of them compared to the ones Dream and George threw. 

"Hey, Georgie! The lovebirds are here!" Dream shouted from the threshold of the front door. Karl just rolled his eyes and laughed. Back in high school, there were speculations that Karl and Sapnap were dating, but they were just rumors spread by people who couldn't mind their own business. Truth be told, Karl had a crush on Sapnap back in high school, and he sort of felt the same way currently. No one knew that, though. 

"Sap! I'm gonna go get us a few drinks! Stay there!" Karl half-yelled behind him. 

As Karl made his way to the kitchen, George gave Sapnap a look. Sapnap just shook his head. 

"Dude, why haven't you told him yet? You're gonna have to do it soon or he'll find someone else, you know that. This could finally be your chance." George said. 

"Yeah you think I don't know that? It's scary. I don't know if it'll change our relationship for the better or the worse."

"You're literally in love with him, Sap. Tell him before it's too late. You never know, he might like you back."

"Who's Sap in love with?" Karl came up behind George to give Sapnap his drink. George and him shared a look. 

"Don't worry about it, Jacobs. Let's go to the living room." Sapnap replied. George said he was going to find Dream and that he'll catch up with them later. As George passed Sapnap, he whispered, "Do it, just like you've planned. You got this." Sapnap sighed. 

-

After hours of dancing and drinking, Karl and Sapnap were exhausted. Dream said that they could crash at his place for the night, but there was only one bed. Dream's couch was really uncomfortable for sleeping, so they had no choice but to share. 

"It's okay if you don't want to share, I'm fine with sleeping on the floor." Sapnap rubbed the back of his neck. 

"No you're not sleeping on the floor, you'll hurt yourself. I don't mind sharing if its with you," Sapnap tried not to think of the implications behind that. 

"I will warn you though, I might roll over on your side, so I apologize in advance for that." It was Karl's turn to be embarrassed. He didn't mention that he's only touchy in his sleep when it comes to a certain person, and this certain person was right in front of him.

Sapnap muttered a soft 'okay' and crawled under the covers, fatigue taking over. It didn't surprise Karl that he had fallen asleep so fast, Sapnap could fall asleep anywhere this fast, Karl was just glad that of all the places he could have slept, he chose the spot right next to him. 

-

Karl woke up first out of the two. The sun shone through the curtains, casting soft light into the room. It was still pretty early, but he could hear Dream and George laughing from the kitchen downstairs. He smelled freshly brewed coffee, bacon, and pancakes. He was much more comfortable than he was when he went to sleep last night. When he picked his head up from what he was laying on, he realized that it was Sapnap that he was laying on. Karl smiled to himself, looking at Sapnap's sleeping face. He hoped he wasn't crushing the boy underneath him.

Karl noticed Sapnap's light freckles, almost unnoticeable unless you knew to look for them, he saw the acne that spread across his chin and cheeks like constellations in the sky, he noticed the scruff his face, from where he hadn't shaved in a few days. He noticed the way his lips were slightly parted, letting his breath come up in soft, shallow breaths. _Oh how he wanted to kiss those lips senseless._ Karl then realized how real his feelings for Sapnap were. 

He was in love with him. 

Karl placed a soft kiss on his jaw and got up. He needed to talk to someone about his feelings, and luckily, the two gayest people he knew were in arms reach. 

"I'm in love with Sapnap." Karl felt his insides twist and turn from the announcement. _Why did he do that?_

 _"_ We could have told you that." Dream laughed.

"Yeah its been obvious, since like, high school." George added, taking a sip of his coffee. 

"What the hell?! You could have told me!" 

"We assumed you would want to figure that out on your own." Dream said, very matter of fact.

"Well, what am I gonna do?" Karl questioned.

"You could go back up there and wait for him to wake up and then talk about it. By the way, you both looked very cute this morning when we went to check on you." George pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed Karl how they were sleeping, with Karl laying on Sapnap's chest and legs tangled together. 

"Oh my Godddddd." Karl complained, hiding his embarrassed face in his hands.

"Uh-oh, what's Karl complaining about now?" Sapnap laughed, having just arrived downstairs. 

Before Karl could interject, George showed him the picture of the two sleeping together, all tangled up together. Sapnap didn't say anything, but he didn't need to since the heat rising to his cheeks said everything. 

"Okay, we'll be leaving now. Thanks for giving us a place to crash for the night. We'll catch up with you guys later." Karl said as he dragged Sapnap by the wrist out to his car. He didn't say anything as he started the engine and drove off. Sapnap was confused as to why Karl was acting strange. He was normally fine with flirty jokes and sexual innuendos, but for some reason he didn't seem okay with this. 

"Sap, I can hear you worrying from over here. I'm fine, don't worry about it." Karl said nonchalantly. 

They drove the rest of the way in silence. 

\- 

Karl hadn't spoken to Sapnap in days. He didn't know if he could control himself if Sapnap was near him, so to battle that he locked himself in his room. Karl texted Dream about his predicament, to which Dream responded with "it's totally obvious he likes you too, do you see the way he looks at you? make your move!" 

On the third day of self-isolation from a certain flatmate, Karl couldn't take it anymore. He was so helplessly in love with Sapnap. He was going to do something about it. He walked up to Sapnap's door, heart beating out of his chest. Karl was shaking, not knowing how Sapnap would take the news. 

Sapnap answered the door, dark circles under his eyes and messy hair, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. Aside from the obviously exhausted look on his face, confusion was also present. 

"Karl, what are you-" Sapnap began. 

"I'm in love with you."

Silence. 

"I'm so in love with you it fucking hurts. Remember when you woke up that one morning and asked me why the orange mug is my favourite? I lied to you. It doesn't remind me of the sun. It reminds me of you, the warmth of your smile when you look at someone you love, the late nights when we would go get hot chocolate and see a movie at a drive in. It reminds me of when I woke up with the shittiest nightmare and you just held me in your arms. It reminds me of the coffee I make you every morning, that little sigh when you take the first sip. It reminds me of your freckles, I noticed them when we went to Dream's party and we fell asleep together. I didn't realize it before, but i was in love with you when we first met in high school. You took my breath away, Nick. You still do. Even when your hair is messy and you have dark circles under eyes, proving that you haven't slept in days, I love you. I love that orange mug because it's you. That's why." Tears were streaming down Karl's face. 

Karl could taste the tears on Nick as their lips pressed together. It was desperate, passionate, but short lived.

They looked at each other, Sapnap's eyes flicked down to Karl's lips, and that was all he needed to initiate a second kiss. It was tender, soft, careful. Their lips moved together, Nick's hands grabbing the back of Karl's thighs to lift him up. Karl's legs wrapped around Nick's waist as he pressed him against the wall. Karl moaned softly, giving Nick the opportunity to slide his tongue into Karl's mouth, giving in to Karl's taste of vanilla and lemon. 

-

Karl woke up first, but you probably already guessed that. He was pressed back into Nick's chest, arms wrapped protectively around him, even though he was asleep. Karl turned slightly and pressed a soft kiss on Nick's jaw, before drifting right back off to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiiii this is my first fic and i was really nervous to post because i dont like how my writing sounds in this, but if you read all the way through thank youuuuuuuuuuu it means so much to me!


End file.
